How to respond to your crying baby
Reviewed by Dr. Manisha Panchal
Go through this list whenever your newborn is crying. You may end up combining multiple steps or going through all the tactics more than once before something works. As with most things related to parenting, there’s no single right way to respond to your baby’s cries.
Give touch a try
Studies show that touch triggers an oxytocin spike for both baby and parent, making it an incredibly effective temporary calming mechanism. The momentary flood of feel-good hormones can provide the breather you both need, so when in doubt, try holding your baby before figuring out what to do next.
Beyond serving as a chill pill, touch provides a slew of benefits for your baby: it regulates body temperature, heart rate and breathing. It boosts cognitive development. It even deepens bonding between you and your child. Infant massage can be a healthy way for you and your baby to relax. Here’s how to get started.
You’ll spoil a crying baby by holding them too much.
Addressing basic needs
Are they hungry?
This is the single most common basic need. During the first three months of life, your baby will spend a lot of time feeding. On average, newborns feed every two to four hours,2 and all babies go through growth spurts where they want to feed even more frequently than that! Try offering your baby a bottle or breast.
If you’re breastfeeding, your baby’s cries mean you can’t make enough milk.
Are they tired?
On average, newborns sleep anywhere from 14 to 19 hours a day, often waking only to feed before drifting off again. 4 If your baby is crying for this reason, they’re likely already overtired, which can make calming them much more difficult and time-consuming. Try loosely swaddling them, moving to a darker and quieter place, offering them a pacifier, and rocking or patting them.
If you don’t establish good sleep routines in the first weeks, your baby will never be a good sleeper.
Are they uncomfortable?
Your newborn will pee as often as every 1 to 3 hours,5 and can poop up to 10 times a day.6 A soiled, soggy diaper can trigger crying very quickly, so it helps to check and change your baby’s diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if not more. Make sure you’re changing the diaper correctly too: one that’s too tight, loose, or poorly positioned can also cause your baby discomfort.
Are they sick?
If you’ve tried several tactics without luck, check your baby for the most common symptoms of illness. These include:
Abnormally high or low temperature
Vomiting
Diarrhea
Rash
Coughing
Certain symptoms are more serious than others. Here’s when you should call your doctor.
Is a stray hair to blame?
As unusual as it sounds, this condition happens often enough with newborns that it has a name: hair tourniquet. Hair tourniquets only affect very young babies, when their appendages are small enough that a stray hair or fabric thread can wrap around them, causing pain and cutting off circulation.
Hair tourniquets can become serious if left untreated for too long, and may even require medical intervention to treat. If your baby is inconsolable, check to see if a hair or thread is wrapped around one of their fingers, toes, or their penis.
References
1 ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2809453/
2 healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/feeding-nutrition/Pages/How-Often-and-How-Much-Should-Your-Baby-Eat.aspx
3 pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10226183/
4 whattoexpect.com/first-year/newborn-sleep.aspx
5 healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/Pages/Babys-First-Days-Bowel-Movements-and-Urination.aspx
6 healthlinkbc.ca/health-topics/abo3062
Additional resources
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